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The continuing saga of our feckless physicists...

John Lowell 7 March 2005

www.lablit.com/article/5

Lowell at home

Monday:

Albert successfully unifies space, time and gravitation;
Charlene says he should try to incorporate Electromagnetism.

Tuesday:

Jenny and Darren's string theory is on the rocks;
They try to patch it up with a few more extra dimensions.
Mandy announces a new theory of elementary particles.

Wednesday:

Albert tells Jenny about a powerful theorem in topology.
Charlene is becoming depressed over the bugs in her program.

Thursday:

Jenny tries to interest Darren in topological methods.
Tristram and Tracy encounter mathematical difficulties.
Darren claims that Albert’s theory is not gauge-invariant.

Friday:

Albert despairs of attempts to generalise his theory.
Wayne is appointed Regius Professor of Mathematical Physics.
Charlene tries to comfort Albert, saying Electromagnetism does not matter.

Saturday/Sunday:

Jenny says that Darren’s stubborn refusal to consider the role of topological invariants merely reflects his petty jealousy of Albert’s Nobel Prize.
Did Mandy steal Tristram’s ideas about supergravity?
Will Wayne's transformation solve Tracy's intractable equations?
Charlene says that her Cray Computer is no substitute for a meaningful relationship.